Notes to self

Things I Keep Re-Learning

I come back to these ideas more often than I’d like to admit — usually when I’ve drifted, gotten comfortable, or started optimizing for ease instead of growth.

None of this is original. Most of it is borrowed, learned the hard way, or repeatedly re-learned. This isn’t advice, and it’s definitely not a claim that I live by these principles consistently. I don’t.

Think of this as a working list, a set of reminders to myself about how things seem to work when I’m paying attention. It’s incomplete, occasionally uncomfortable, and very much in progress. I expect it to change. I hope it does.

Theme I: Agency, Asking, and Exposure

1. Let reality say no, not you.
Once you’re genuinely okay with rejection, you’re free to ask for almost anything. Most limits exist because we enforce them on ourselves before testing them.

2. Increase your surface area for luck.
Luck isn’t constant. It grows when you show up, talk to people, ask directly, and stay in motion. Be optimistic. Be visible. Assume goodwill until proven otherwise.

3. Reach out more than feels reasonable.
Send the cold email. Ask the naive question. Knock on doors that look closed. You’ll be surprised how often someone answers.

Theme II: Environment and Leverage

4. Your environment will beat your willpower.
Put yourself where average isn’t enough. If you can get by comfortably, you probably will. Growth happens in places that quietly demand your best. You don’t find out who the captain is on calm seas.

5. Watch your production and consumption ratio.
If you’re mostly consuming, something is off. Creating is slower and riskier but it’s where learning, leverage, and meaning come from. Aim to produce more than you consume.

Theme III: Learning, Change, and Aging

6. Don’t confuse learning with entertainment.
Real learning takes effort and is often uncomfortable. If something is perfectly digestible and endlessly agreeable, it’s probably entertainment. That’s fine, just don’t call it growth.

7. Speed up as you get older.
Lean into change. Stay curious about new tools, ideas, and perspectives. Many people retreat into certainty and routines over time.

Theme IV: Risk, Iteration, and Feedback

8. Most bets fail. That’s expected.
Any single attempt is unlikely to work. Progress comes from making many bets and executing each one seriously. Volume, quality of effort, and fast feedback matter more than brilliance.

9. Shorter cycles beat better plans.
Fast iteration compounds. Long deliberation rarely does. Learn by doing, then adjust.

10. The feedback that matters usually hurts.
If it stings, pay attention. Discomfort is often a signal that something important is being revealed. Flattery feels better but it rarely changes anything.

Theme V: Time, Pain, and the Price of Outcomes

11. Everything passes.
No matter how permanent something feels, good or bad, it isn’t. This doesn’t erase pain or inflate optimism. It restores perspective.

12. Wanting outcomes without their costs is a dead end.
We admire results like strength, freedom, love and independence but those are inseparable from struggle. The question isn’t what you want. It’s what you’re willing to endure.

13. Every meaningful pursuit charges upfront.
A strong body requires physical stress and restraint. Independence requires risk and long stretches of uncertainty. Love requires rejection, silence, and emotional exposure. The cost isn’t hidden, we just like to pretend it’s optional.

14. You can’t win games you refuse to play.
Avoiding discomfort feels safe, but it quietly disqualifies you. The struggle isn’t a detour. It is the path.

This list changes. I add, remove, and rewrite entries as I learn.
Last updated: February 2026.